Friday, 6 January 2012
Words of Wisdom: Week 1
When I was 12, I sat in my friends house drinking smoothies and discussing pop-culture (probably talking about who Lizzie McGuire was dating at the time). Then out of the blue, my friend was talking about how fat she was. At 12, I didn't really know the best words to respond, or even to comfort her. I remember telling her, "You aren't fat, you just have some larger bones than any other people." At 12, that was the best I could do.
I remember coming home and asking my mother about who is considered fat and who isn't, and she just said that "People were born in different shapes and sizes", and that was that. That didn't really help me much at the time, but I was young and I just forgot about it.
I remember when I was in 9th grade and there was a girl in my class with an eating disorder, which seemed to be the most interesting news to some people. I remember being in a class with a guy (who wasn't a very nice person, may I add!), and he said something about my thighs, calling them "thunder thighs". I laughed along with him, but who is he to make comments about my body? I didn't ask for his opinion. I hate so much when I hear friends say that "This boy won't like me because I don't weigh 100 pounds". He isn't worth it.
I remember going over to a friends house and everyone would discuss what they dislike about themselves. It wasn't that I had super high self esteem, I just didn't want to see myself in a negative light. Maybe I didn't like some part of my body, but life is life. If you are healthy and alive, don't spend another moment criticizing yourself or your body. Someone makes a rude remark about you or the way you look, don't listen to them. At 6, 12, 16, 25, and any other age, how you look is not something to obsess over. Don't let your thighs, your weight, or anything else or what anyone else says, define who you are.
J.K Rowling once said that quote, and it is entirely true. People never forget rude words. I can still remember where I was, where I was sitting, and what we were doing, when that guy commented on my thighs. People don't forget bad things. We all have scars, but lets use those to make us a better person.
Like my mother said, we are all in different shapes and sizes. Some girls are smaller than others, and some girls are bigger than others. Some girls are a size 14, and some girls are a size 4. If I knew what I do now about the scarring effect that this topic has on girls, I would tell my 12 year old self to stop my friend, tell her how loved she is, and that she doesn't need to change a thing about herself.
We are all humans, and we all need some love sometimes, even if its learning to love ourselves.